I heart*...

my camera and photo editing programs because:
1. My kids are cute and taking pictures of them is awesome.
2. I can say (and have said) that I now take semiprofessional pictures.
3. One of the splurges we made when we got married was getting a pretty expensive photographer because I wanted to have nice pictures; it was worth the money for the quality of pictures, right Dad?  I'm not sure why I didn't apply that principle to my children earlier.
4. I love, love, love how quickly the dslr camera captures images, it’s awesome for little ones on the go.
5. Photo editing, where have you been my whole life?  So apparently, everyone can look better in the right lighting; hello exposure and brightness settings.  And you’re welcome everyone!
6. I will forever look like a tourist on vacation, something I'm sure my family will appreciate.  (I will be sure to keep my extra camera cards in my fanny pack.)
7. Cullen will stop whatever he's doing if I ask if he wants to "say cheese." Does everyone realize how awesome that is?



Before editing.



Wha lah!  After editing.

My favorite picture of Wubbles ever before editing

I didn't even know that he could look cuter!  After retouching.

I took this.  Semiprofessional, right?

 So there you have it, the 7 reasons in 10 minutes that I heart my camera and photo editing programs the most.

*This will be a weekly post written in 10 minutes about something I love and why I love it.

Brothers

When I found out I was pregnant with Arden, I immediately knew it was a boy.  However, right before it was confirmed, I started having doubts because people starting putting their two cents in on the baby's gender based on the old wives tale of how I was "carrying."  Boy= big belly.  Girl= fat ass you can tell you're pregnant from behind.  Note to everyone: if you're going to use this "scientific method" to determine the gender of a baby, only let her know if you think she's having a boy.  If you think it's a girl, there's no way to tell her without being rude; so keep your thoughts to yourself.  But when everyone kept telling me they thought it was a girl, and based on what I saw in the mirror, I too started to think maybe they were onto something.

But alas, I was right to go with my gut instinct; at 19 weeks, the ultrasound tech asked us if we could tell what we were having and without hesitating I knew that we were having a boy.  Thoughts running through my head later: Yes, another boy!  Boys are awesome; this is going to be great.  Wait a minute, what?!  So what's up with that fat ass pregnant from behind talk, coworkers?  (Random "fact", according to everyone who works in my doctor's office, girls are usually more private when it comes to giving away their gender and make you work for it; boys on the other hand are very fond of letting it all hang out for everyone to see.  Surprising?  No.) 

Reasons having another boy is awesome:

1.  I get along better with boys.  Always have, always will.
2.  Since we had lots of boy stuff we were well prepared.
3.  Having a brother who is either 14 months older or younger (respectively) would be awesome; riding the bus to school alone would be dope.  (You know my kids will be riding in the back seat, motioning for other drivers to honk their horns or wave!)

This morning when we were all hanging out and Cullen kept pointing to Arden and going "beebee," I knew that they were bonding in their own little kid way.  Can't you picture them now: raising hell in the neighborhood together or going as some famous duo on Halloween (Batman and Robin Charlie and Emilio), getting (and hiding) their first tattoos from us together or giving the roasts toasts at each other's weddings?  I can and it makes me happy; really happy. 

So, while there may not be cute boys clothes (exception: The Children's Place) and you may one day turn around while changing the one who just peed on himself to realize that the other just threw up all over himself (true story), it's worth it for these two to have one another.  Hopefully they will be not only brothers, but partners in crime (but not literally, because that'd be terrible).

Do little ones need a vacation from their parents?

Yes, little guys do sometimes need a vacation from their parents.  Cullen Wubbles came home today after visiting with his Aunt and he was in an excellent mood; it must have been those Cocoa Puffs that had him so excited!  Thanks to Poppy and Aunt Carolyn for watching him!




Even though he clearly had a great time, we couldn't be happier to have him home; marker eating and all.  Anyone have an orange marker to spare?  Wub made a snack out of his.

There's no crying in the hair salon. (A toot, toot alert.)

In the words of Jimmy Dugan, "There's no crying in baseball!"  I think this rule should apply to the hair salon, beauty parlor or barber shop.  (Not sure how much crying is going on at a barber shop though; it’s probably very little.  Actually I'm going to guess that it's none; no man has ever cried after seeing his new flat top, I’m pretty sure he’d be asked to never come back.)  Yesterday, I got my first hair cut in 2 1/2 years and I love, love it.*  If I could "like" my haircut alah facebook, I would totally do it.  I’d be the one rockin’ the “thumbs up” symbol above my head and it wouldn’t even matter that I was the one who “liked” it.*

My feisty hair dresser, Dayna, did a great job; I specifically told her that I didn’t want a “mom haircut.”  No offense to other mothers, but I don’t understand the “just had a baby, time to get my hair chopped off!” mentality.  According to Dayna (and I agree) shorter hair is not easier…  After the 2 1/2 years of crazy damaged hair came off, it immediately looked better. But once the cut was finished, she straightened it so I couldn't really tell how long it was going to be once I styled it curly.  Note to everyone: my hair looks good straight*; I'm just too lazy to ever actually straighten it.  Perhaps now that it's shorter and it won't take me as long, I will start doing it more often; probably not though.

After I took a shower and put some of my all important styling product in it (No joke: on my Eharmony profile one of the 3 things I was most grateful for in life was hair product), I decided that I really liked it.*  Actually, I really, really like it,* but I can't help but think about all of those other haircuts that I got that I didn't like and there have been many.  I've also watched enough What Not to Wear to know that lots of people women don’t like their haircuts, most people women are reluctant to part with their hair style for whatever reason, it's a security blanket, it looks good (or so they think), it's easy, it fits their lifestyle, etc.  But it's when they women get defensive about changing their look that I don't understand; last I checked, hair grows back, or can be dyed a different color or styled differently or extensions can be added, so I can't help but ask, "Ladies, why all the tears?"  Seriously, it's just not worth crying over.  (Also, if anyone should ever "report" me to What Not to Wear, know this: I will accept their offer because it's 5 grand and I'm not a fool, but there will be hell to pay for letting me walk around looking so bad that intervention from a national TV show was needed!)

Thankfully though, there's no tears from me.  Only an appreciation for a nice new do' and some compliments from my hubs and me (not even going to lie, quite a few compliments from me... but you know what?  That's ok with me.  After 9 months of being pregnant, then a 6 month hiatus, then another 9 months of being pregnant, I think looking in the mirror and being pleased is kind of deserved.)

Here's a few snapshots of my new style:

Get a good look... straight hair doesn't happen often 'round these parts.

Ahhhh, now that's more like it.  5 minutes of work, a whole day of style.

What I learned from these pictures; I won't be waiting until 2013 to get my next hair cut!

*Toot toot- an expression my family uses when someone "toots" their own horn.  This blog is an example of an extended toot toot, thanks for bearing with me!

Randomania

No theme today, just a bunch of little updatey things to share:

1. Our cable is out, so annoying.  I was raised on TV, so even if I'm not watching it, I still need it to be on for background noise; it's totally my version of white noise.  Also, our cable company is kind of my nemesis.  I work in a "customer is always right" type field and so I try to have some compassion for service representatives, but I'm not sure that this company's representitves always have the same feelings about me being right.  About a year and a half ago (when we were having the SAME problem!) someone made the mistake of laughing at me; needless to say, I kind of messed up his day.  Although, I was 9 months pregnant at the time, so that was virtually excusable in my book.  Yesterday, I was so happy with the results of my SECOND call to our cable company that I thanked the guy for being the, "first nondouchebag in customer service that I ever talked to."

2. My theory on kid’s clothing is apparently not in keeping with today's trends.  I feel as though you should dress little ones like they were adults and not subject them to those crazy decaled onesies/tee shirts that you will both regret later on.  Yes, I'm talking to you designer of "Mommy's little stinker" onesie with a skunk on it and "Mommy's attention hog" onesie with a hedgehog on it; Jim clearly doesn't agree since Arden is wearing the "Mommy's attention hog" onesie as I type.  These shirts always remind me of a scene from Father of The Bride where George is trying to come up with places to have Annie's reception and he suggests their favorite restaurant, The Steak Pit; and Matty, wise beyond his years, replied, 'I'm not sure if we want the word 'pit' on a wedding invitation.'  That's how I feel about the double entendre slogan baby tee shirts/onesies; I don't need the word "MILF" scrawled across my son's chest, thank you very much. (Although, I did actually find one that I liked one time; it was a onesie that had a robot on it that said, "don't push my buttons."  That is legitimately hilarious and therefore I support just that ONE slogan shirt.)

3.  Someone had an anniversary and it was totally me and Jim.  5 years, baby!  Like I always tell Jim, "the best 5 years of his life!"  It is amazing how much my life has changed in the last 5 years: a husband? 2 kids? that's crazy.  No seriously, it kind of is crazy because about 6 months before I met Jim I told my Dad that I didn't want to get married; guess that never happened.  But in all seriousness, a marriage takes a lot of work; something that I know my 25 year old self didn't realize, it takes more than just love; once we realized that, I knew that we would be together forever.  Happy Anniversary, Jim.



On our day of wedded bliss.



4.  I'm getting my hair cut today.  I'm not nervous for the actual cut, I'm nervous for the styling portion.  (Doesn't that sound like I'm getting ready for surgery?)  I haven't gotten my hair cut in a while, like as in years, so this should be interesting.

5.  I just got this text from my sister, "The chik fil a workers were asking about u and if u had the baby!"  Something I should confess; I ate Chick fila 5 days a week and sometimes Saturday for just about 34 weeks.  I have my favorite cashiers, I also can recite my order by heart; here goes, "I would like a number 5, 12 count with a bottle of water and instead of the fries can I get a side salad with spicy dressing.  And can I get an 8 count nugget, not the meal, just the nuggets.  Sauce?  Can I get 1 ranch dipping sauce and 2 Chick fila sauces.  Thanks."  I know it sounds crazy, but because of being high risk I had to know the nutritional contents of everything that I was eating, so thanks Chick fila, you certainly helped contribute to creating 2 happy, healthy little baby boys.

That's about it for now, I hope you enjoy your weekend as much as we are planning too!  And to start it off right, here's an adorbale series of pictures of Wubbles from dinner the other night.  Enjoy!



"This is delicious, but the bowl is kind of in the way."

"What?!  The bowl is in the way!"

"Here, this works so much better."

A quiet Tuesday afternoon.

Today we spent the afternoon listening to my Valentine's Day mix (artists include Bob Dylan, The Avett Brothers and Ben Sollee) and addressing, licking, stamping and return labeling Arden's birth announcements.  More accurately, I addressed, Jim licked, stamped and return labeled; I cannot stand licking envelopes, it makes me want to gag.  Seriously, can't they come up with a non disgusting tasting envelope glue?  (Perhaps this is my "million dollar idea?")

With Cullen's birth announcements, I tried to be fiscally minded and scoured the clearance pages of a photosharing/all things photos website until I found something I liked.  With Arden, I decided to expand my Internet exploring and found a great website for all mailable, writable and sendable stationary and much to my surprise, I found a really reasonably priced birth announcement that I love.  (If you ever need a recommendation for an awesome stationary website, let me know, I will give you all the deets and you will see what I mean.)

It's afternoons like this that I'm trying to drink up and savor because they will go by so quickly; Jim goes back to work next week and then it will be just me and little Buster.  (By the way, I'm not sure if that nickname is going to "stick" or not, but I'm hoping it does.  I campaigned pretty damn hard for the name Buster, but got R-E-J-C-T-E-D hardcore, but I just can't let it go.  I seriously love the name, but everyone else smashed it.  One day I will have to go into the saga of Jim and I picking baby names; let's just say Jim is a very patient man because we probably looked at around 20,000 names before we settled on one.  And then I didn't like that name and we had to change it!)  I'm looking forward to spending the next few weeks myself with the baby, looking back on it, I truly think those were the most important weeks I spent with Cullen.  Just he and I, sharing the smallest moments (like the little "ooooohhhhhh" sound he used to make after he sneezed) to the quiet moments (sleeping in my arms and such) and the hectic moments too (I used to text Jim frequently with updates about certain diapers that I found to be, "nothin' nice!"); but it was the best 7 weeks of my life.  And now, I get to have those same moments with Arden; I'm already excited because here's who I get to spend my days with:

The cutest little Buster I know.

This is a typical afternoon; I'm in love.

And then each afternoon, when Cullen and Jim come home and it's just the four of us, I look around and ask myself, "Seriously?  Does it get any better?"

Cupid is my arms not in an aisle at the grocery store

I know I have said this before, but greeting cards are lame.  Seriously, I almost never find one that is quirky and witty, sentimental but not over the top cheesy, feminine but not scrawled on knock off country wall paper.  That's why Jim and I (but really I) have a "no card" rule.  I never get cards, Jim always gets cards.  I subscribe to my Dad's school of thought; wish the person a happy (insert occasion here) give them their gift and the 2 one dollar bills that you would have spent on the card.  Awesome, right?  Everyone is much happier this way.

So, since I won't be getting Valentine's Day cards, I'm going to write each of my boys their cards here.

Dear Jim,
You should be proud of me for saving the $2.00 on a card; this thriftiness is surely a part of why you married me.  As we grow older together, we have this amazing opportunity to live our lives the way we want to, surrounded with love for one another, love for our kids, love for a cheap bottle of wine, love for "real" Chinese food and most of all an awareness that these things are blessings.  All of them.  We have had our moments of unhappiness and yet these seem to melt away because they just really don't matter.  What matters to me is you, your love and your dedication to our family.  So, you know how I'm a "list" person, well here is my list of the top 3 things you have done, just today, that have made me fall in love with you:
1. Got up at midnight and 3:00 am with the baby and let me sleep.
2. You just yelled from the other room that Hoda and Kathie was starting.
3. The genuine way you wished me a Happy Valentine's Day and gave me a big kiss while we were both standing in the kitchen in our pajamas with Arden sleeping away in his car seat and Cullen Wubbles watched from his highchair.  A perfect Valentine's moment.

I love you and thank you for loving me.
Me-Me

Dear Cullen Wubbles Baby,
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, so please don't take, my sunshine away.  I sing this to you; I desperately wish that you will remember things like this when you're older.  Your laugh is the most perfect laugh in the whole wide world.  Your fake cry is the most perfect fake cry in the whole entire world.  I hope that you will remember why it is that I put you in your Beatles shirt this morning; because in life, all you really need is love.  So it stands to reason that in my life all I need is you and your love (along with Arden and Daddy too!).
Happy Valentine's Day, Wubbles.
I love you,
Mommy

Dear Arden Little Buster Baby,
12 days ago you arrived; and 12 days ago, my heart grew.  And it's still growing.  When I look next to me and you're curled up in the car seat or look down and you're nestled in my arms; my world is perfect.  You're the reason we are a family of four and that Cullen Wubbles is a big brother; the reason we know that love isn't divided but doubled when we were blessed with another child.  You have taught me as much about love and contentment as any of the great orators, books, quotes and wise words ever have.  I adore that you're mine, not only on Valentine's Day, but each and every day.
Happy Valentine's Day, Little Buster.
I love you,
Mommy

So, there you have it.  To the three great loves of my life, to whom I owe so much and have learned so much from, thank you.  Thank you for all of it; but most importantly, thank you for the love.

A is for Arden: after

I'm not sure why I called this "after" because while it's after a moment in time (Arden's birth) it has just become "now."  I don't view it as "after" anything or anyone like I thought I might at first.

So here goes: my "now" is breathtakingly gorgeous.  I have two sons whom I adore and a husband who loves me unconditionally and I the same.  I never thought that this would be my life and yet it is; I'm so incredibly happy and even that doesn't describe how intensely enamored I am with my life right now and forevermore. 

Our first family picture.  Please excuse my appearance it was a long few days.

A is for Arden: during

Like I said in my last post, I have read several birth stories recently and they are so beautiful and heartwarming and I fight back tears every time I read someones experience.  But, my story is a little different.  All of the birth stories have read have been women who have delivered naturally and I have had two csections.  So I want to share with you my experience with a totally planned, yet still wildly exciting and organic birth experience.

The doctor: Ok, I can't say this enough, I love my obgyn.  I feel like there must have been some type of doctor matching website and we were compatible of 57 different points.  I thoroughly enjoy my office visits with him, because there is nothing that I can tell him or experience that he hasn't a) seen before and b) that he can't trump.  Literally.  He's an older guy and I swear that if I went to him and said that my vagina was "humming" "A Whole New World" from Aladdin, he would tell me not to worry.  Then, he would let me know that one time, a patient of his came in and her vagina was "humming," "Push it" by Salt N Peppa.  And  my vagina "humming" wouldn't seem to bad.  The thing I like the most about him, is that he treats me well.  Like called me beautiful when I was 9 months pregnant and I told him I was tired, well.

The morning of: I had to go to pre admissions testing the day before my csection and they let me know that I would get a call that day and I would then find out what time I needed to be at the hospital.  I just assumed that I would have to go in really early, so I would probably have to pack the night before.  (Something you should know, I never pack early.  I only pack the morning of.  In other words: you will never have to worry about tripping over the pregnancy just in case bag packed and ready to go at the back door.)  But I didn't have to be at the hospital until 8:00 am, so I could pack that morning; no one was as excited as me.  The morning was hectic; we got in our last pictures as a family of three and then I took my second belly shots of my pregnancy.  We kissed Wubbles goodbye, drove in the freezing rain to the hospital and blared, Florence and the Machine, Kings of Leon and The Temper Trap.  It was a pretty awesome ride.

The hosiptal: Hospitals and I aren't bffs, we're on again off again, luke warmish friends.  I love the hospital when me or my family and friends need it, but am intimidated and grossed out by the smell when I'm not in total desperation.  We arrived and got to the "middle recovery room" rather quickly; that's right.  No cushy birth room digs, we went right into a recovery room and that's where we stayed for the better part of a day.  I did the typical hospital protocol, put on the gown, answer lots of questions (why my parent's medical conditions are important when giving birth is beyond me, but I answered everything they threw my way), get hooked up to the fetal monitor (measuring the baby's heart rate and my nonexistent contractions) and got my IV (totally not as bad as I remembered from the first time).  I remember laughing with Jim and my sister, Megan.  My Dad got there and we talked and he was the one who held my hand while I got my IV (Jim pretty much passed out when I got my IV with Wubbles, so he waited outside the curtain this time).  Then we sat around and waited.  And waited some more.

The waiting: We laughed and joked and watched the monitor the whole time.  Megan and Jim and I watched the OR to see if we could figure out when it was my turn, I don't know why we did this; but it definitely helped to pass the time.  Finally, my obgyn appeared with coffeein hand (I'm assuming to stay sharp and alert for my moment) and let me know that he was "negotiating" on my behalf to go next.  There was another woman that was there before I arrived but I went before her thanks to my doctor; talk about the ultimate "butt" in line.

The csection: I will spare the details of the actual surgical procedure, because it is gory, but it's also a really great experience.  All of the people in the OR were so nice to me.  There was this one nurse, actually, he was a male nurse so he was a murse and he and I kind of had a little bonding session while we were in there.  He was talking so soothingly and fatherly that I asked him if he was a father.  Of course there was the anesthesiologist; he was awesome too.  He kept telling me that I was "vanilla" because there were no issues with anything and how much he liked that I was "vanilla."  (When I came out of surgery, my Mom asked me how it went and I told her that I did good, I was very "vanilla" and she was like, "What?"  It made me feel like me and the surgical team really had a lingo going that the nonsurgery people just wouldn't get.  Like, "Psshhhh, Mom, "vanilla" means that I did well and there were no complications.  It's OR talk, you wouldn't get it.)  My doctor (I'll stop gushing) and the resident were there too.  They did an awesome job.  Arden was really stuck in there.  According to the doctor, babies that are long and lean really camp out in the uterus and he wasn't kidding.  At one point, he was leaning so much on my arm that it started moving backwards.  I kept asking Jim if he could feel the doctor leaning and he told me no, but then when the doctor started using my arm as support, he finally saw what I was talking about.  Jim was there; nervous as hell, but he was there.  We talked about how excited we were and I kept asking if he could see things and he kept me updated on my "stats."  He was wonderful.  So supportive and he fulfilled his camera man duties so well.  And finally, the man of the hour arrived.  It took about 45 minutes from the time they brought me into the OR to the time Arden was delivered, but it seemed like just minutes.  He came out with some gentle tugging and I literally couldn't have been happier.  For about two minutes all I could say was, "thank goodness, thank goodness."

The recovery: Actually, this time, my recovery was so much easier.  Yes, the surgery hurts.  Yes, I threw up all over afterwards.  But they give you lots of medication to combat these issues and I readily agreed to it all and advocated for more whenever I felt the slightest need.

All in all, the csection was easy.  It was the perfect way for Arden to come into this world, a major operation, lots of people all around and family waiting impatiently to see him.

A is for Arden: the before

We are very pleased to announce that Arden arrived just under a week ago and he is doing great; as are the rest of us.  I never posted about being pregnant because I have personal issues regarding sharing pregnancy news so publicly, it has a lot to do with my past experiences and one day I will write about that too; but right now, I'm ecstatic that I can share this awesome news and my story with you.  I decided to break up Arden's story into 3 parts, the before Arden arrived chapter, the day itself and everything after.

The test: I basically knew that I was pregnant before I even took any tests.  I just had a feeling, literally; I felt different and for lack of a better word, the difference was (among other things) my bitchiness level.  Since I thought for sure I was pregnant, I took a test and it was negative.  So I told Jim that we weren't pregnant because the test was negative.  The test was still negative when I took it a few days later (for some reason, I just wasn't convinced that I wasn't pregnant), so I kept testing and then testing some more.  It's a good thing that those pregnancy tests come in packs of three, because finally, on the third test, I saw what I already knew was supposed to be there: a double line.  It was faint, but it was there.  I wish now that I had done something more poignant to let Jim know that the test was positive, but I just wanted to share it with him so quickly that the moment was just organic and perfect in it's own way.  I asked Jim to come upstairs and he meet me in Wub's room.  He thought that I wanted him to move something for me, but I was holding the test and just said something like, "I'm pregnant.  Do you see the double line?"  And that was that.  Jim was shocked.  Wub was oblivious.  And I had already known, so I was comforted by seeing the line and knowing that Arden was on his way.

Movement: Since I already knew what baby kicks felt like, it took me less time to definitely say: Arden's kicking.  I was at work and I just felt this tiny little fluttering and I fell even more in love with him.  It was reassuring and lovely and magical and everything wonderful to experience all of his baby movements for the next 5 months.  And there were a lot of them.  He was so active.  Some nights it felt like he moved the entire night and I loved it.  It was so reassuring that I was able to get better sleep when he was more active.

Wub's response: Since he was only 6 months old when I got pregnant, he really didn't notice anything was different the entire time.  Only recently, like within the past 2 weeks did he start having any interaction with my belly.  He started doing something that only a mother could love.  While I would be sitting on the couch, he would come over and lift up my shirt and take his sticky baby finger and point first to the mole on my stomach and then he would jam his little finger into my belly button; hard.  At first it was so cute that I didn't really mind it hurt.  But after he continued to do it, I had to start grabbing his little finger before it made it into my belly button.

Jim: What can I say about Jim, he really is just so wonderful.  Since my pregnancies are high risk from start to finish, I am not always the most laid back, nicest person to be around.  He always makes sure that he asks me if I need anything, what he can get for me, how he can help and the list just goes on and on.  He really did take over lots of responsibility with Wubbles and made sure that my days were as easy as possible.  He is a wonderful father and I can't wait for him to teach another boy how to make a woman feel wonderful.

Happy:  I can't say it enough or strongly enough; Arden has made me so happy.  I literally am madly in love with him.  For some reason the pressure of having a newborn, just isn't as overwhelming this time around.  We have really been enjoying every minute and have spent very little time second guessing ourselves or trying to make things perfect.  I am so ecstatic to be a mother again and I thank these wonderful boys who I share my life with, because without them, this wouldn't be possible.  Literally.

I can't wait to add more to this entry as I gather my thoughts over the next few days and week, so check back in for updates!  I'm excited to share my birth story next.  I've read quite a few and they all sound so magical and very romantic (as odd as that is) but I think I have a little different perspective.  I have a csection perspective.  So I'm excited to share what really happens, I think it may surprise you. 

Thanks again to everyone who has helped, supported, cared, loved and been a part of our journey these last nine months, I literally couldn't have done it without you!