J Slash K

Remember when I said that I was going to do 30 Blogs in #0 Dayyyyyyyyssssssss!!!  (said like Oprah), well clearly, it's not happening.  This blog is a passion of mine, but it's not something that I can commit as much time as if it were my full-time j-o-b.  What happened after I made that announcement is that life called up and was like, "Hey, do you want to work overtime in every other area?  Yeah, it's not an option to say no."

What this means for me, although it's a little personal defeat, is that I'm not going to be writing posts every day and that "Announcement"?  I guess I was just kidding, j/k.   I'm going to try to be more consistent, posting about 2-3 times per week and continuing to talk about things that are important to me.  Also, it wouldn't be right of me not to say that my sister, Megan was totally right, this is not going to happen (frowny face).

Bubbles Sleeping

The battle for sleep has been an epic one in our household.  There've been quite a few nights where we've surrendered and slept-four-to-a-bed, and as much as I don't like getting a swift kick to the kidneys, I can honestly say the best thing to see when waking up is a sleep two year old.  He's all sideways in the bed, taking up half my pillow, while I am crammed onto the narrowest ledge of bed, and it's awesome.

It's moments like these, that I will treasure forever- definitely, images like this will flash through my mind as he crosses the threshold into some important parts of life: school, graduation, college, marriage and parenthood.  I will no doubt tell him about these special memories and I only hope that I do them justice and he realizes that even the littlest of moments were so completely loved; how I didn't mind it as much if it meant that I got to start my day seeing him first thing, curled up next to me.

My Style

When I announced that I was doing a 30 Day Blog challenge, I solicited requests for blog post topics and my friend, Bear suggested talking about my parenting style and I thought that was a great request.  I don't know that I've ever elaborated on what I'd define as my parenting style and yet, I write about the product of said parenting ad nauseum, so it seems only logical that I give it a whirl and do my best to convey how it is that Jim and I parent our children.

My life has been happily chaotic for a while now, I define exactly what that means by way of a timeline in my "About Me" section of this blog, but allow me to give you the cliff notes version: graduated college in 2005, met Jim in 2006, married Jim in 2008, had Cullen in November of 2009 and had Arden in February of 2011.  Prior to having Cullen, I had a miscarriage when I was 15 weeks- it was total devastation, I literally cried so hard that my eyes were blurry for weeks and at points it literally hurt to breathe.  It happened 20 days before my birthday and I was convinced that I would never recover, never go on.

But then, two months later, I did go on; and while I will never know what my family would've been like- nor will I ever stop wondering, I truly felt like I got a second chance.  I explain all of this to give a frame of reference for the basis of my personal parenting style and where Jim and I consistently parent from... most of the time.  I honestly think, as I'm sure everyone who's ever been pregnant or has been a parent believes, that my children were the most wanted, loved, cherished children that have ever been born; yet I can distinctly remember holding my breath for 40 weeks, after my initial loss, the crazy abandon with which I embraced pregnancy was never able to be replicated because I was too fearful that it would be taken away from me again.  

So, it is with that feeling of total love from which I parent-- let me just be clear that when I say total love, I mean a healthy, balanced love, one that allows my children to be imperfect and human while still being my world and the reason I get out of bed in the morning.  I parent from the perspective of love first, secondly I parent from a perspective of reason and third from an awareness for the future; in reality, I'd like to have a child that knows they are loved unconditionally, who was raised to be an independent, kind person that will make an impact on society- and that doesn't mean on a large scale, it can be as small as donating library books or as large as becoming president, just so long as their happy.

Recently, I've noticed that parents can be destructive in their parenting choices and, whether intended or not, I think it's unfortunate that it happens, because really, every parent (in any capacity) is just trying.  Trying to do their best, whether they can or not, that's another story.  I know it may sound odd, but parenting from the perspective of loss, or more accurately challenge, has helped me and Jim be eternally grateful for the blessings that children have brought to our lives, don't get me wrong though, I fully respect everyone's decision about becoming a parent, it's incredibly complex and by far the most challenging thing I've ever done, but I know for a fact that it's the best decision we've ever made.

Above all else, I try to be kind to my children (and let me tell you, that's sometimes very difficult) and let them be "free thinkers," but I don't confuse that with being disrespectful or unkind.  I've tried to continue an important element of my parent's parenting style- while being the adult in charge, my parents allowed us, within reason, to make decisions independently and listened when we came to them to talk about everything- big or small.  It's something that Jim and I have worked hard to create within our own family structure, we make it a point to have dinner as a family every night and we sincerely attempt to listen to our children, not just hear them, but really listen... and so far it's working.

This is what makes me happy.

Advanced Style

Today's post is being brought to you by the number 90.  

If I ever have half the style and grace as Ilona Smithkin- who is actually 90 years old, I will consider myself very, very lucky.  Besides that, her message is fierce, surround yourself with positive, colorful people- preach it, Ilona, preach it!  (Also, I'm unclear as to where she actually is- it looks like a studio of some sort, but when I'm 90, I hope I have a room filled with treasures just like this one seems to be.)





Please take a moment to also look at the entire Advanced Style blog as it serves as a reminder that beauty is timeless and looking chic should always be a girls main prerogative, no matter her age.

Bubbles

I don't know quite how it happened, but sometime between first steps and running, Cullen has affectionately become known to me and Jim as Bubbles.  It's probably because we originally called him Wubbles, which I annoyingly turned into Wubbles Bubbles and then dropped the Wubbles.  Or maybe it's because he is my Bubbles.  My absolute favorite picture from my wedding day isn't even of me, it's of one of my best friends blowing bubbles while waiting for us to leave the church; just got a major rush of feeling like this nickname may have been more perfect than I ever thought.

As kids, we all delighted in bubbles; I swear I can hear my little one's happy screeches in pictures where they are chasing after bubbles. And it's that feeling of unequivocal joy that bubbles bring that Cullen- our Bubbles, has brought to us.  He's my little Bubbles, spreading joy and happiness wherever he tumbles.

I'm Following the Love

As much as I pretend to be an strongly opinionated 20-something woman, I too have my moments of bandwagoning, and nothing makes me love something more than when my kid loves it.  All too often, when I'm having an, "enh" moment, one or the other of my boys is having a heart-melting moment with one thing or another.

For Cullen that means every single pot, pan and kitchen utensil is the object of intense bargaining and begging until we finally give in and surrender our practical kitchen arsenal to his "inspired by Wolfgang" kid kitchen.  And Arden, well he's a total sucker for anything Sesame Street or musical... and anything that he can put in his mouth, like chalk, pickles that were missed during dinner clean up, paper, markers, my hair, my buttons, etc., don't get me wrong though, we're not talking My Strange Obsession- I fall in love with inanimate objects.

I guess, I find it funny that time and time again, I instantly and without abandon fall in love with most of what my children love.  I'm a follower, a total sucker for going from 0 to 60 when it comes to pleasing and appeasing my kids.  However, it should be noted, that "taste" seems like it is genetic, so in actuality, it's pretty likely that the reason I enjoy their favorite things so much is because they inherited their sense of style, music appreciation, color choice, etc. from me.  Hence the Ok Go obsession that has recently developed in our house. 

It all started the other day while I was furiously looking up Youtube videos to keep the kids interest and I stumbled upon, This Too Shall Pass and showed it to Cullen. Suffice it to say, the rest is history.  The kid loves the video and I am in love with the message.  It's a crazy world that we live in, but if you resign yourself to the knowledge that everything passes (sometimes within the hour), it makes those crazy moments so much more manageable.

So, Ok Go has my vote, best video of February in our household.  I have also downloaded the song and paraded around our new office/coloring room with Cullen and Arden proclaiming, "This too shall pass!"  And while I know they don't understand that sentiment right now, it gives me comfort to believe that one day they may listen to that song and think of me and how I told them that, "This too shall pass."