Parenting truth

Here's a parenting fact:


If one child's name is "unique" all subsequent children should have "unique" names too.  It's not fair for one child to be able to walk into any novelty store and select a crappy item with their name on it, while the other one(s) can't.


You're welcome, parents.

The Urban Dictionary of Me

Here's my Urban Dictionary:


Meep: expression meaning ut oh!  For example: I forgot to take out the garbage. Meep!


Double meep: expression meaning Big ut oh!  For example: I forgot to take out the garbage and there was a poopy diaper right on top.  Double meep!


Amazeballs: describing something that's awesome.  For example: This is amazeballs!


Rhut rho, reorge:  expression meaning someone or myself messed up.  For example: Rhut rho, reorge!  I forgot my wallet at Target.


Mayjah: expression meaning something is big, or epic.  For example: Katie's after prom party in 2001 was mayjah!


Eeek the cat: expression meaning ut oh!  For example:  Eeek the cat, I forgot to wish someone I saw 10 times today a Happy Birthday.  Meep!

Almost...

Cullen is asleep.

Arden was asleep in his crib

and then he threw up. 

Almost had two kids asleep before 9 pm.

Almost.

A little blue-eyed company while we're watching TV
is a-okay with me.

We'll try again tomorrow.

I will definitely take a "by default" victory

Well, Irene knocked out our cable, so we weren't able to watch it all day.  It was restored around 4:00 pm, but we were really busy until dinner was over, so I only watched about 1/2 hour.  By default, this meets my New Years resolution commitment to turn the TV off on a Sunday.

So, like I said yesterday, nice try Irene but we pretty much out-smarted you at every turn.  Word.

Yo, Irene! Bring it!

These guys are ready for your category 2ish antics, because category 2ish is their day, every day!  Maybe next time you'll try harder...

Fingers Crossed

We have been selected to adopt a dog!  We're going to meet him tomorrow and we're so excited.  We have been scouring the internet, reading a book on Labrador Retrievers, scheduling obedience classes and creating a schedule in order to help our new family member adjust.  Here are some of the things we have learned:

• Putting boiled potatoes in the dogs food will help prevent it from having diarrhea.
• Labs are very eager learners; however, over-praising can be detrimental to their obedience training.
• When the dog first comes home he will be shown the house while on his leash, this will help to acclimate him to his different areas.
• People beds are for people, dog beds are for dogs; no exceptions.

Fingers crossed that all will go well and that we survive both the new dog and the hurricane that's a comin' this weekend!



 

$9.25

And now a craft project that costs $9.25:

Clever girl

Upon opening the door to a room with Zeta's toys all over:

Me: You need to clean up your toys.
Zeta: I didn't do it!
Me: Oh yeah, who did it then?
Zeta: The earthquake.

Touche!



The little brother is sick

Poor Arden, it's a sick day for him.  I knew this one was probably coming after his doctor's appointment on Friday; however, it doesn't make it any easier.  Giving him credit though, he sure is stoic about it.  Take a look at these pictures and see what I mean.



Yes Man or Woman

Just as I had suspected, Yes Man is a pretty crappy movie.  I only watched 10 minutes of it before I turned on Chopped (which, by the way can this show have any more finger lacerations?  I mean seriously.  I have watched like 6 seasons of Top Chef and I have only seen them slice their fingers like 10 times, but almost every episode of Chopped someone has a glove on their freaking hand that's pooling with blood.  And even worse, sometimes the contestants don't even realize that they shouldn't use the knife that they chopped off their thumb with to finish preparing the rest of the meal?!  Holy Hepatitis, Batman; no thanks!); however, I did look it up and I discovered that the movie was based on Danny Wallace's book by the same name and decided that it was an interesting concept.

Saying yes to everything isn't going to happen, at least not for me.  But saying yes more often is kinda realistic.  So, here is my pledge to myself, I'm going to say yes 10 times in the next month when I don't want to and record the events... humorously.

Touch a Truck

This afternoon, Megan, Zeta, Cullen and I went to the event formally called Touch a Truck Day (TaT'd).  However, after attending TaT'd, I have taken the liberty of renaming it to Get Trapped On A Sweaty Bus While A 7 Year Old Blows The Horn In My Ear Day.

Please enjoy this glimpse at our time at GToaSBWa7YOBtHiMED:

Just so you know a) she asked me to take this picture and b) she knows him.

Irony: breaking the law in a car meant to enforce the law.

In our school district, only 5th graders can sit in the back of the bus, according to assigned seats!

Well look at these two, they're totally breakin' the law.  Again.

Although, Cullen looks terrified by what the bus driver has to say about the seat assignments.

Blowing the horn on the bus.



Attitudinal look + fabulous hair= future career in bus driving.



Checking out the merch.



Oh look kids, it's a stretcher ride!



Please note two things:
1. How cute are these two?
2. The woman in the background.

Please note:
1. The kids are still cute as can be.
2. The woman in the background is now a flamingo.

Hitchin' a ride.



I know she's 5, but she looks like she could codrive the fire truck.  I'm not sure about the driver's capabilities though...



This picture makes it all worth it!

Texting with Megan

And now a brand new installment to my blog called, Texting with Megan.  Here's some background, I recently asked Megan, if she could have a different career than what she does now, what would it be?  Her answer, "A homicide detective!"

Friday, August 19, 2011
Me (1:56 am): Is this the craziest storm ever?
Megan (2:01 am): I'm kinda scared a little bit
Me (2:02 am): Yeah, me too.  Everyone else is asleep and I'm sitting down on the couch playing scrabble.
Me (2:02 am): Cullen woke up and was freaking out.  Poor wittle guy!
Megan (2:02 am): Lol.  I'm watching Id...
Me (2:04 am):  Honestly, Megan!  You frighten me more than this storm.

New Years Resolution: An Update

Perhaps I should have attempted to do just 1 resolution: stop taking on too much.  But that’s totally not my nature and not what keeps life entertaining.  So, let’s take a little look-see at the old resolutions list and see where we stand, shall we?

• Paint my nails more: I have actually been doing this more often.  However, I still have the same qualm about it; once it is chipping and needs to be removed, I get lazy and just let it flake off for the next month or so.  Not a-tractive at all!  But since it’s happened more than last year, this is complete.
• Worry less: I think I have done this occasionally this year, so I’m going to say that this is complete.
• Turn off the TV for the whole day one Sunday a month: This has not happened once.  Fail.
• Play music while we're eating dinner: I should have clarified this, I don’t mean play as in perform a tableside concert alah 5^th grade where I sat in the back and just pretended to play, I mean play as in push the button with the triangle on it.  We have done this quite a few nights; therefore, this has been completed.
• Bake more: Nope, hasn’t happened once!
• Buy matching bed linens.  Including the comforter: Purchased, just haven’t put them on yet.  Half-fail.
• Vacuum more: Check!
• Organize my closet: Haven’t even touched it.
• Write more letters/emails: I’m good with emails, but I haven’t written a single letter.  Letter writing is pretty archaic anyways, so I’m going to dispose of this resolution because on second thought this is stupid.
• Actually send the letters and emails:  See above.
• Check the mail every day: We’re consistently inconsistent with this one.  So it’s a tossup.
• Be more creative: I’m pretty creative, it’s the following through with the idea that is the problem.  Hence the 30 craft projects in various stages around our house.  (I swear that I am actually going to learn how to sew though…)
• Learn how to sew: Rhut Rho Reorge, I kinda lost the foot pedal.  This is an incomplete…
• Make Wub's Halloween costume.  He has always wanted to be a sack of potatoes: Uhm, I still have time on this one, so I’m going to say: there’s a chance.  Although the odds are looking pretty bad.
• Be more thoughtful: I have tried.  I am trying.  I will continue to try.
• Take more pictures.  (I ordered the best of 2010 pictures this morning and there were on 314 pictures, which makes me a little sad.  Only 314?  That's not even a picture a day.  Weak.) :  Total awesomesauce on this one.  In one week alone we/I took 555 pictures.  Check please.
• Call people more.  I'm a fan of texting, but I should get better about that: I realized something, I’m a texter, a writer, a person who likes to remove awkward silences at all costs.  Therefore, calling is never going to be an option.  This resolution has been eliminated.  
• Entertain more often.  It's hard with little ones, but our friends are awesome and really go out of their way to accommodate our kid friendly requests: I am in the midst of planning some kind of end of the Summer/start of Fall party.  Besides this, I have been spreading the word about my 30^th Birthday Party and also checking into some ideas for Arden’s 1^st.  We have only had people over a few times, but it’s always quality of quantity with these types of things.  So this is totally complete.
• Dance with Cullen more.  He loves it: Done and done.
• Be more prepared: I think this is every mother’s motto and I’m pretty sure that the travel first aid kit in my purse counts as being prepared.  Booyah!
• Get my hair cut: I can proudly say that this was done in February.  If I keep the same hair tending schedule, I’m not due for another hair cut until August of 2013.  Don’t judge me.
• Order something different when I go out to eat.  If I find something I like on a menu, I never order anything else: I have gotten slightly better about this; although, one of the reasons that I order the same thing every time I go out is because I know how it “sits” in my belly… if you know what I mean.  Oh!
• Be rational: (Whoa, I was really on my high-horse about some of these resolutions, I would like to tell my resolution gauntlet throwingself to shut up!) Ahhh… I’m workin’ on it.
• Be more patriotic: The boys both have Old Navy American flag t-shirts and I explained to Zeta why there are 50 stars on the flag.  Mission accomplished.

So, lets recap, that’s:

4 completes, 1 fail, 1 hasn’t happened once, 1 half-fail, 1 check, 1 haven’t even touched it, 1 disposed of resolution, 1 see above, 1 tossup, 1 non-answer, 1 incomplete due to lost foot pedal, 1 there’s still time left,  1 I’m trying, 1 check please, 1 eliminated resolution, 1 totally complete, 1 done and done, 1 booyah, 1 don’t judge me, 1 diarrhea reference, 1 I’m workin’ on it and a mission accomplished.

All in all, I would say, it’s about what I expected.  So let’s see if I can kick it into high gear for the last 4 months.  Go team me!

Completely Inappropriate

Every once in a while I’m always down for a totally inappropriate joke, story or book and while I was perusing the Border’s sale, I came across a book with an odd title, F U Penguin.  After reading one page, I realized that this book is totally hilarious.  The sale isn’t good enough to buy it just yet, so until then, you can read the accompanying blog which stopped being updated in 2009.  Why?! 

Yes, I realize it’s not everyone’s “cup of tea” so if it ain’t yours, don’t freaking drink it; and don't tell the waitress either, because she doesn't care.

This song is genius

Arden is definitely a particular little guy.  He likes to play with one little chewy thing more than the others, he prefers Puffs over Dissolvable Maple Sticks Snacks and he is uber picky when it comes to sounds in his environment.  For example, our household vacuum cleaner is his jam!; but the wimpy vacuum cleaner sound on the white noise app... not so much.
A few weeks ago, he got sick.  I'm talking he cried more than any other baby I have ever been around.  Eventually, he stopped eating because he was in so much pain.  Poor wittle guy!  But the doctor said that he would be better in 7-10 days and he was; by the 7th day his appetite was back and the crying was minimal.  However, in his most inconsolable moments, I started playing "Prologue" by Naren Rauch and he responded to it immediately.  He calmed down and relaxed and for as long as I hit play he was content. 

So, I think you should check out the song which is featured in this Pampers commercial, because both the song and this commercial are beautiful:

Thank you to a wise, wise man

Thank you to my Dad for indulging me in conversations that go something like this:

Bop boo, beep boo (sound of me dialing the phone).

Dad:  Hello…

Me: Hi Dad it’s me.  2 things.  Did you get my email about the vinyl window decals?

Dad: Yeah…

Me: Ok, good.  One other thing, and tell me this is stupid, but… and I’m even nervous to ask you what you think, but… I really want to get a dog… do you think that this is a bad idea?

Dad: (Crickets)

Me:  Because, I found this dog and his name is Sam and he’s so cute.  And the boys really need a dog so they are socialized to animals.  And he’s not a puppy, because there’s no way in hell I’m ever getting a puppy, but his pictures are so cute.  He’s sitting in the pictures; so he already knows how to sit!

Dad: (Crickets)

Now the silence is so long and painful that I’m actually starting to think that we may have gotten cut off.

Me:  Dad?

Dad:  Let me think about it…

Me:  Well what’s your initial reaction?

Dad:  Well, my initial thought is that you’d have to keep your floors much cleaner.

And scene.

My Jersey Shore

Long before The Jersey Shore became MTV worthy, my family and I would delight in the true meaning of The Jersey Shore, which believe it or not has nothing to do with fist pumping, doing shots and duck phones.  My version of The Jersey Shore involves the best pizza in the world, carmel corn, boardwalk fries, peanut butter ice cream and a serious dose of make your own t-shirt shacks.  So, without further ado, here are some of my fondest memories from this season: